Hey friends, Rob here—and today I want to start with a story that still makes me squirm a little when I think about it.

Years ago, I was working for a local cable provider in Oregon. Things were going well, and I’d worked hard to prove myself. One week, several leaders—at different levels of the company—approached me privately and encouraged me to apply for a big promotion. It was flattering, honestly. It felt good to know my work had been noticed. The role came with more money, more responsibility, more influence—all the things you’re supposed to want.

But here’s the twist. That very same week, my wife and I had already decided I was going to resign. Not for more money. Not for more prestige. In fact, the role I was stepping into was with a much smaller company in the town we actually lived in—and it came with less money. A lot less. But for us, it was the right decision. Because it meant being present in the same community where we were doing ministry, where our relationships were, where our impact could be more personal and meaningful.

And let me tell you—it was hard. Saying no to that promotion, to the recognition, to the financial benefits… it felt uncomfortable, even irresponsible in some ways. But it was the right no, because it freed me to say yes to the right thing.

Jesus lived that same kind of tension. All throughout His ministry, He said no—to good opportunities, to people, even to expectations placed on Him. Not because He didn’t care, but because He cared most about the Father’s will. And if we look closely, His boundaries teach us something powerful about our own.

So today, we’re going to talk about how Jesus’ nos actually show us how to say yes—yes to God’s calling, yes to healthier priorities, yes to a life that truly matters.

Part 1: Jesus Said No to Good Things

When I turned down that promotion years ago, I wasn’t saying no to something bad. It was actually a really good thing—higher pay, more recognition, a clear path forward in the company. The leaders who encouraged me to apply weren’t wrong. From the world’s perspective, it was a smart move. But here’s the tension: sometimes the “good” thing isn’t the right thing. And if you chase every good thing that comes your way, you’ll end up missing the one thing God is actually calling you to.

Jesus modeled this over and over again in His ministry.

John 6:15 — Saying No to Power

In John 6, Jesus had just performed the miracle of feeding the five thousand. The crowd was buzzing with excitement, and they wanted to make Him king by force. Imagine the scene—He could’ve had instant popularity, instant authority, instant influence. For many people, that would sound like the dream. I mean, isn’t the goal to climb to the top so you can make the biggest impact? But Jesus saw through it. Verse 15 says: “Perceiving then that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself.”

He said no. Not because kingship was a bad thing, but because it was the wrong thing at the wrong time. His mission wasn’t to take the throne in Jerusalem—it was to take the cross on Calvary. And the crowd’s good idea would have pulled Him off course.

Mark 1:35–38 — Saying No to More Ministry

Another example comes early in Mark’s Gospel. Jesus had just spent the evening healing the sick and casting out demons. The whole town of Capernaum had gathered at the door. If there was ever momentum to build on, this was it. But the next morning, Mark tells us that Jesus slipped away while it was still dark to pray. And when the disciples finally tracked Him down, all flustered, they said, “Everyone is looking for you!” (Mark 1:37).

If it were me, that’s when I would’ve said, “Perfect—let’s go back, fire up the fog machine, launch a new series, and capitalize on this energy.” But Jesus didn’t. Instead, He said: “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out” (Mark 1:38).

He said no to another night of healing ministry in that town—a good thing—so He could say yes to the broader mission of proclaiming the Kingdom everywhere.

The Temptation of “Good”

Here’s what’s striking: most of the temptations you and I face aren’t temptations to do blatantly evil things. Very few of us wake up in the morning and say, “You know what would be fun today? Ruining my life.” No, the real danger is being pulled into good things that aren’t God things. Opportunities that seem right on the surface but distract us from what’s essential.

Think about your own life:

• Have you ever filled your calendar with so many “good” commitments—work projects, volunteer roles, social events—that you had no margin left for what really matters?
• Have you ever said yes to an opportunity just because it looked impressive, but deep down you knew it wasn’t aligned with your calling?

That’s where boundaries come in.

Boundaries Protect the Mission

Jesus wasn’t being selfish when He withdrew or redirected. He was being faithful. His no wasn’t a rejection of people; it was a commitment to His Father’s will. Boundaries are like fences around a garden—they aren’t there to keep good things out, they’re there to keep the right things growing.

If Jesus hadn’t said no to becoming king, He might’ve been celebrated in Jerusalem but never crucified at Calvary. If He hadn’t said no to staying in Capernaum, the gospel might’ve stalled out in one region instead of spreading to the ends of the earth. His nos preserved the yes that changed the world.

Our Struggle with Saying No

Now, I’ll be honest—I struggle with this. Saying no feels uncomfortable. It can feel like I’m letting people down, wasting an opportunity, or even being ungrateful. Sometimes I’ll say yes out of guilt, out of pride, or just because I don’t want to look lazy.

Here’s where the humor sneaks in: some of us are so bad at saying no that we end up volunteering for things we don’t even like. Have you ever been at a church meeting, and suddenly you’re on the committee for the annual pancake breakfast even though you don’t even like pancakes? That’s what happens when you can’t say no—you end up flipping flapjacks at 6 a.m. wondering how you got there.

But when I look at Jesus, I see freedom. He didn’t live bound by guilt or obligation. He wasn’t controlled by the crowd. He was anchored in the Father’s will, and that gave Him the courage to say no—even when the thing in front of Him was good.

Reflection

So here’s the question for us: What good things are you saying yes to that might actually be keeping you from the right things?

• Maybe it’s a job opportunity that looks great on paper, but deep down, you know it’ll pull you away from your family or from ministry.
• Maybe it’s another commitment on your calendar when what your soul really needs is rest.
• Maybe it’s the pressure to impress others when God’s simply asking you to be faithful.

Jesus shows us that it’s not only okay to say no to good things—it’s sometimes essential. Because every no is really about protecting a bigger yes.

Part 2: Jesus Said No to People

If Part 1 showed us that Jesus said no to good things, Part 2 takes it up a notch—He also said no to people. That might sound a little jarring at first. After all, isn’t Jesus the one who welcomed children, healed the sick, and invited sinners to His table? Yes. But even though His heart was open to people, His mission wasn’t open to everyone’s agenda.

Matthew 16:21–23 — Saying No to Peter’s Shortcut

One of the clearest examples is in Matthew 16. Jesus tells His disciples that He’s going to suffer, be killed, and raised again. Peter—good ol’ Peter—pulls Him aside and says, “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” On the surface, Peter’s response sounds caring. He doesn’t want his teacher, his friend, to suffer. That’s a good impulse, right? But Jesus turns and says, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me; for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Matthew 16:23).

Talk about a hard no. He didn’t just brush Peter off; He rebuked him sharply. Why? Because Peter was tempting Him with a shortcut—a version of the Messiah’s mission that didn’t involve the cross. Jesus wasn’t rude; He was resolute. He said no to Peter so He could say yes to the Father’s will.

Luke 9:57–62 — Saying No to Half-Hearted Followers

Another moment comes in Luke 9. A man tells Jesus, “I’ll follow you wherever you go.” Sounds enthusiastic, right? But Jesus replies, *“Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”*Translation: “If you follow Me, you need to know this isn’t about comfort.”

Then another man says, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus responds, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Another says, “I’ll follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replies, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

These sound like harsh nos, but what Jesus was really doing was exposing the divided hearts of the people in front of Him. They wanted discipleship on their own terms. Jesus said no to people who wanted to negotiate the cost of following Him.

Our Fear of Saying No

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes we need to say no to people, too. And that’s hard. Many of us are wired to please others—we want to be liked, to be seen as helpful, to avoid conflict. Saying no feels like rejection.

I remember back when I was serving as a pastor, there were weeks when I’d get so many requests: “Can you meet with me?” “Can you come to this event?” “Can you join this committee?” None of them were bad things—they were all good, heartfelt requests from good people. But there were only so many hours in the week, and I had a family, a ministry focus, and my own walk with God to protect. Learning to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t” was one of the hardest but healthiest disciplines.

Humor moment: I once heard someone say that when you can’t say no, you’ll end up at a birthday party for someone’s cat, holding a paper plate of Costco sheet cake, wondering where your life went wrong. That’s what happens when you don’t draw boundaries with people—you end up exhausted, overcommitted, and missing the things God actually called you to.

Jesus’ Example of Focus

What I love about Jesus is that His nos to people were never about selfishness or arrogance. He wasn’t dismissing them as unworthy. He was focused on His mission, and He wasn’t willing to let other people’s desires—even well-meaning ones—pull Him off course.

Think about it:

• When the Pharisees demanded signs, He said no.
• When the crowd demanded more bread, He said no.
• When Peter begged Him to avoid the cross, He said no.

Every no was rooted in a deeper yes.

Reflection for Us

So, what does this mean for us? Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say no. Not a harsh, prideful no—but a clear, gentle one that says, “I can’t give you what you’re asking, because I need to be faithful to what God is asking.”

• Maybe you need to say no to a friend’s pressure to compromise your convictions.
• Maybe you need to say no to a boss who keeps piling on more work at the expense of your family.
• Maybe you need to say no to a ministry role because you know your soul needs rest.

Here’s the reality: if you can’t say no to people, you’ll never be free to say yes to God.

Closing Thought for This Section

When Jesus said no to people, He wasn’t rejecting them. He was protecting His mission. He understood that a no in the moment could lead to a greater yes in eternity. And that’s the invitation for us: to live with the kind of clarity and courage that allows us to say no when we need to, so that we can give our full yes to the One who truly matters.

Part 3: Jesus Said No to Expectations

If saying no to good things was hard, and saying no to people was harder, then this next one might be the hardest of all: Jesus said no to expectations. People had all sorts of ideas about who He should be, how He should act, and what He should do. And over and over again, He refused to be squeezed into their molds.

John 2:4 — Not Yet

Think about His very first miracle. In John 2, Jesus and His disciples are at a wedding in Cana, and the wine runs out. Mary, His mother, comes to Him and says, “They have no wine.” It’s not a crazy request—she’s not asking Him to part the Red Sea or raise the dead. She’s simply asking Him to help a young couple avoid humiliation on their wedding day. But His response is striking: “Woman, why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come” (John 2:4).

Mary’s expectation was that Jesus would solve the problem right then and there. And He eventually did, but on His terms, not hers. He wasn’t going to be pressured into action before the time was right.

Luke 12:13–14 — Not My Role

Another moment comes in Luke 12. Someone in the crowd calls out, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” That’s a very practical request! It wasn’t even selfish—this man just wanted justice. And who better to settle it than Jesus, the wise rabbi who preached about fairness and righteousness? But Jesus said, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?”

Translation: “That’s not my role.” Jesus didn’t let other people’s expectations define His mission. He knew what the Father had sent Him to do, and it didn’t involve being a referee in family squabbles.

Mark 3:31–35 — Redefining Family

There’s another powerful moment in Mark 3. Jesus’ mother and brothers come to see Him while He’s teaching. The crowd tells Him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” In that culture, family ties and obligations were sacred. The expectation was clear: stop what you’re doing and go honor your family. But Jesus says, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And then He looks at those seated around Him and says, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

That was a radical no to cultural expectations. He wasn’t dishonoring His family—He was expanding the definition of family to include all who follow God.

Why This Matters

Why does this matter? Because we live under the weight of expectations every single day. Expectations from family, coworkers, friends, society, even the church.

• Parents expect us to live up to their hopes.
• Bosses expect us to always be available.
• Friends expect us to show up for everything.
• Culture expects us to be successful, productive, and impressive.

And when you try to live up to everyone’s expectations, you end up exhausted, scattered, and maybe even resentful.

Humor Moment

Have you ever noticed how expectations sneak into the tiniest things? Like when you go to a potluck and someone says, “Oh, I expected you to bring your famous chili.” Suddenly you’re like, “Wait—was there a signup sheet I missed?” Expectations can feel funny in small ways, but in bigger ways they can be crushing.

Jesus shows us that it’s okay to let people down. That sentence feels uncomfortable to even say, doesn’t it? But it’s true. Jesus disappointed people. He let them walk away when they didn’t like His teaching. He refused to be their bread machine, their miracle dispenser, or their political hero. Why? Because He wasn’t here to meet human expectations—He was here to fulfill divine purpose.

Reflection for Us

Here’s the key question: Whose expectations are you living under?

• Are you saying yes to something only because you don’t want to disappoint your parents?
• Are you saying yes at work because you’re afraid of what your boss might think, even though you’re already stretched too thin?
• Are you saying yes at church out of guilt, instead of genuine calling?

The good news is, Jesus’ example frees us from the tyranny of other people’s expectations. If He could look at His own family, His own disciples, and the crowds around Him and say, “No—that’s not what I’m here for,” then we can too.

Closing Thought for This Section

When Jesus said no to expectations, He was actually saying yes to freedom—freedom to live out His mission without compromise. And when we follow His example, we experience that same freedom. We don’t have to meet everyone’s demands. We don’t have to carry burdens that aren’t ours. We just have to stay faithful to the path God has placed in front of us.

That’s where the joy is found. That’s where the peace is found. Not in living up to every expectation, but in living faithfully under God’s direction.

Part 4: What We Learn About Boundaries

By now, we’ve seen that Jesus said no to good things, to people, and to expectations. But here’s the question that hangs in the air: what do we actually learn from all of this? Because it’s easy to admire Jesus’ boundaries in theory—but when it comes to practicing them in our own lives, that’s where the rubber meets the road.

The truth is, boundaries are not about being selfish. They’re about being faithful. They are the guardrails that keep us aligned with God’s calling instead of drifting into everyone else’s demands.

Boundaries Are Biblical, Not Selfish

Sometimes we confuse boundaries with selfishness. We worry that if we say no, we’ll look uncaring or unspiritual. But think about it: Jesus had perfect love, perfect compassion, and perfect obedience—and He still said no. If boundaries were selfish, then Jesus wouldn’t have had them.

Instead, His boundaries served His mission. Every no was about protecting the yes He came to live out. That should give us permission to stop feeling guilty when we have to draw lines. Saying no doesn’t make you unloving; it makes you focused.

Boundaries Create Margin for What Matters

Another thing boundaries do is create margin. If you say yes to every request, every opportunity, every expectation—you’ll quickly find yourself running on fumes. And when you’re running on fumes, you’re not at your best for the things that actually matter.

Think about your calendar for a second. How much of it is filled with things you felt obligated to do, versus things you were actually called to do? For many of us, the ratio is a little off. We confuse being busy with being fruitful, but they’re not the same thing.

Humor moment: I once heard someone describe their calendar as “a piece of paper that reminds me of all the things past-me thought present-me would be capable of.” That’s the danger of a life without boundaries—we keep saying yes, and then we end up resenting the commitments we made.

Boundaries Help Us Love Well

This one feels counterintuitive, but it’s true: boundaries actually help us love better. Why? Because when you’re clear about what you can and cannot do, the love you give is wholehearted. It’s not half-hearted, distracted, or resentful.

Think of it like this: if you’re stretched too thin, you might show up physically, but your heart is somewhere else. You’re not really present. But when you set boundaries, you’re able to give your full attention, energy, and love to the people and priorities God has placed in front of you.

Jesus demonstrated this. He didn’t heal every sick person in Israel. He didn’t meet with every crowd. He didn’t answer every demand. But the people He did encounter—He loved fully, healed completely, and taught truthfully. His boundaries didn’t limit His love; they focused it.

Boundaries Protect Calling

At the heart of it, boundaries are about calling. God has given each of us a unique role to play, and if we’re constantly bending to the will of others, we risk abandoning the path God set for us.

Jesus understood this. He knew He was sent to preach the good news, to heal the brokenhearted, to set captives free, and ultimately to go to the cross. Anything that pulled Him away from that—even if it looked good—had to be met with a no.

Here’s the reflection for us: What’s the calling God has placed on your life? And what boundaries do you need to set in order to stay faithful to it?

Boundaries Point to Trust in God

One last thought: boundaries are also an act of trust. When you say no, you’re admitting that you’re not the savior of the world—that role is already taken. You’re trusting that God can handle the needs, the opportunities, and the expectations you can’t.

That’s what Jesus did. Every time He walked away from a crowd, every time He turned down a request, He was trusting that the Father’s plan was enough. He didn’t have to carry it all, because He knew the Father was in control.

And that’s liberating for us, too. You don’t have to fix everything. You don’t have to meet every need. You don’t have to be available 24/7. God is God—you’re not. Boundaries are how we live like that’s true.

Closing Thought for This Section

So, what do we learn from Jesus’ boundaries? That they’re not walls to keep people out, but fences that keep us faithful. They create margin, protect calling, and free us to love better. Most importantly, they remind us that our ultimate yes belongs to God, not to the endless list of demands around us.

Jesus’ nos weren’t about rejection—they were about redirection. And when we learn to say no like Him, we discover that the freedom of boundaries is really the freedom to follow God’s best.

Part 5: The Freedom of Saying Yes to the Right Things

We’ve spent time looking at how Jesus said no—to good things, to people, and to expectations—and how those boundaries teach us to guard our calling. But here’s where it all comes together: every no is really about making room for the right yes. Jesus didn’t just go around shutting doors; He was walking intentionally through the ones the Father had opened.

Jesus’ Ultimate Yes

Think about it. If Jesus had said yes to the crowd’s desire to make Him king, He never would have gone to the cross. If He had said yes to Peter’s plea to avoid suffering, we’d still be stuck in our sin. If He had said yes to every expectation, every demand, every opportunity—He would have been pulled in a thousand directions, distracted from the very purpose He came for.

But because He said no, He was free to say yes. Yes to the Father’s will. Yes to the cross. Yes to resurrection and redemption. His ultimate yes is the reason you and I are sitting here today with hope.

That’s the power of boundaries—they free us not just from, but for. They free us from endless pressure, and free us for joyful obedience.

What We’re Saying Yes To

So what does this look like for us? What are the “yeses” God is inviting us into when we have the courage to say no elsewhere?

1. Yes to Deeper Relationships
2. When you stop saying yes to everything, you actually have time to be present with the people who matter most. Your spouse. Your kids. Your close friends. Your church community. The people God has entrusted to you. You can give them your best instead of your leftovers.
3. Yes to Rest and Renewal
4. Sabbath is one giant no so that we can say yes to rest. Jesus practiced this rhythm—He withdrew to pray, He took time away from the crowds. If the Son of God needed rest, you and I do too. Boundaries free us to say yes to breathing, recharging, and listening for God’s voice.
5. Yes to Calling
6. Every person has a God-given calling. It may not be flashy or public, but it’s significant. And you can’t live into it if you’re drowning in obligations that don’t fit you. Boundaries help you stay in your lane so you can run your race.
7. Yes to Eternal Impact
8. When we stop being driven by guilt or pressure, we can be driven by love. That’s when our yes starts to ripple outward—not because we’re trying to do everything, but because we’re doing the right things.

Humor Moment

You could lighten this up by poking fun at how saying no frees us from silly obligations. Like when you finally say no to signing up for another bake sale, and suddenly you’re not up at midnight frantically Googling “easy brownie recipe with only three ingredients.” Freedom! Sometimes the yes is as simple as not being a stressed-out version of yourself.

Saying Yes Like Jesus

The freedom of boundaries isn’t just about living a less busy life—it’s about living a more obedient one. When Jesus said yes to the Father, it wasn’t easy. It took Him all the way to Gethsemane, sweating drops of blood as He prayed, “Not my will, but yours be done.” That yes changed the course of history.

Our yeses may not be that dramatic, but they matter. Saying yes to praying with your kids. Yes to forgiving someone who hurt you. Yes to stepping into the ministry God’s been nudging you toward. Yes to slowing down long enough to hear God’s voice. Those yeses might not make headlines, but they make ripples that last into eternity.

Reflection for Listeners

So here’s the invitation: What do you need to say no to this week, so you can say yes to what really matters?

• Maybe you need to say no to another work project so you can say yes to dinner with your family.
• Maybe you need to say no to social media scrolling so you can say yes to time in prayer.
• Maybe you need to say no to someone else’s expectations so you can say yes to God’s calling.

Jesus shows us that the right yes is always worth the hard no.

Closing Thought for This Section

At the end of the day, boundaries aren’t about missing out—they’re about living with focus. They free us to give our best yes to the things God has placed right in front of us. And when we follow Jesus’ example, we discover that the nos we once dreaded are actually the doorway to a richer, freer, more purposeful life.

So let’s be people who say no when we need to—so we can say yes to the life God is calling us to live.

Outro

We’ve walked through how Jesus said no—no to good things, no to people, no to expectations—and we’ve seen that His boundaries weren’t about rejection, they were about direction. Every no protected a greater yes: yes to the Father’s will, yes to the mission of the cross, yes to the redemption of the world.

And that’s the lesson for us. Saying no isn’t about being cold, selfish, or unavailable—it’s about being faithful. It’s about creating margin so that our yes means something. It’s about focusing our time, our energy, and our hearts on the things that matter most.

So let me ask you: what do you need to say no to this week? Is it an opportunity that looks good but isn’t right? A pressure from someone else that doesn’t align with your calling? An expectation that’s weighing you down? Whatever it is, I want you to see your no not as a loss, but as a gift—a way of protecting the yes that God is inviting you into.

Because in the end, those yeses are what make ripples that last.

Small ripples can make a big impact—go make yours.